Well, it turns out that I actually do like mediating. When I got to the Orem Court, I found out that a lady that had been in my Fundamental Mediation class last semester was also there. Her name is Virginia. So we got together and divvied up duties and started to meet the New Fundamental Mediation students that would be our pupils. They were pretty cool and so NEW! WOW. But you know what, I think my own experience as a new mediator and not knowing who my mentors were really influenced mine and Virginia's decision to be play very active roles in these new students' learning and experiences. Virginia was constantly coming up with amazing forms to use so that we weren't having to write everything on notebook paper. We each took turns giving presentations on various mediation topics. In our debriefings we took extra care to address students' and each other's concerns. And we tracked each student's progress. I think we did an amazing job as mentors and we received a lot of great feedback from our supervisor, LeeAnn, and the students.
It was kind of interesting, upon self-reflection, to realize that I am pretty good at mediation and that I enjoy the process, problems, and people. I think the tool that really helped me come into my own was a book that was assigned for the class. It's called, Fundamental Negotiation. It's an amazing case-by-case book that gives the reader/mediator a lot of confidence. I started out thinking that the parties in the mediation had the power to move the mediation forward or stop it, but realized that I was the one with the reigns. This one principle put things into an entirely different perspective and helped me to "take control" per se and be of great help to the parties. And I can do this without losing my neutrality. I learned how to be COMPLETELY objective. And trust me, this is such a hard thing to do. Especially when you get a scummy situation, that is so horrible, and realize that one party is a sleeze-ball and the other is the victim. Such a shame. But that's where I, as a mediator, step in. Unlike a judge, who might not understand what the real context of the situation is, I get to know the parties better and this definitely helps in directing them to a solution.
Please note, I don't mean to make it sound like I make the decisions for the parties or influence them to a solution that I think is best for them. That's not what I do. I help them to understand each other, the situation for what it really is, and brainstorm to create their own solutions to their problems. I've come to realize that people, when they come to his point, are so frustrated by emotions that they can't focus on the problem and possible solutions. It's also that most people think there are only two solutions, either somebody pays or somebody gets sued. When emotions get involved, people lose their creativity. That's where I step in and help them come up with solutions that work for them. A lot of times, somebody just wants an apology and thinks that litigation is what will get them that. Well, technically, it does. But it's not the judge who orders it, it's my job as a mediator to make that happen.
All in all, I would have to say that I feel this semester has been pretty productive and that I've definitely grown to have an appreciation for mediation. I really hope to do more of it in the future. I truly believe that it can change peoples' lives for the better.
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